Involuntary Childhood Spasms
I am back! And alive! Thanks for all the well wishes and emails.
Leave it to me to make my first blog post after a long sabbatical to be about guns, masturbation, and nose bogeys. Alas, I am me…
Since Sadie admitted that Norah has pica (I kid) I decided that I should talk about Isaiah’s amazing new (and some old) habits. Vanessa, a good friend of mine, always talks about boys and the things that they instinctively pick up. When Isaiah, who is two years old, started picking up sticks (to destroy monkeys and enemies) and using them as pretend guns, I would gasp, “WHO taught him to be violent! WHO taught him about guns. We don’t let him watch war movies…why is he army crawling!!! ” I am anti-gun. I HATE them… as a result of a traumatic childhood experience. When Isaiah started this I attempted to redirect it. “Isaiah lets hug, not shoot.” My best attempts were thwarted. He just kept pretending to shoot things. Vanessa explained, (loosely translated)” Something about them switches on and they have to hunt and protect and all that jazz.” So now, my precious two year old son runs around the house pointing curling irons screaming, “BLAM BLAM DIE MONKEY!!!” Sometimes I play dead. Other times I snarl, “DO NOT point guns at people- even pretend curling iron guns…GAWWW!” It is like a boyhood involuntary spasm! Something DID just “click” and he decided I was a gatherer and he was a hunter.
Isaiah also went through a stage where he dominated all of his stuffed animals. When I say “dominated” I mean, “Isaiah humped his stuffed animals and the rugs like there was no tomorrow.” No one taught him. Through exploration he just decided, “OH! Mommy has company, I should show them what my body does when I hump this stuffed lamb!” “Ohhhh! Is that high pile carpet? *OFF GOES THE DIAPER*. Let me show you what to do with this…” Thankfully we have a great set of friends who just laughed off Isaiah’s “habit.”
One other boyhood involuntary spasm that has amazed me has been the action his nose has been getting. How do kids learn to eat their boogers (is that how you spell it?)? I remember the first time Isaiah did the deed. I looked in the rear-view mirror and his knuckle had disappeared into his brain. He gingerly pulled his finger out only to plunge it into his mouth. He clapped and giggled as I tried not to veer off the road from the intense gagging I was doing. “Who taught you that Isaiah?” How did he learn to eat his nose crusty? SICK!! SICK! SIIIIIIICK! Again… something just clicked and he decided he knew how to do this. Since he knew how, he obviously should. Thankfully Dr. Oz *YES! I learn how to parent from my favorite TV personalities 
* says that picking your nose is fine. The only problem is that it can damage the mucus membranes. I think he will survive. Sadly, me and my weak gag reflex might not.
I love these things about kids. I love that just like a heart beats involuntarily, there are things that little boys and girls do without prompting. It makes me excited to imagine if we have a girl, (the doctor says ultrasound shows 70% girl) what she will do.
♥ Jasmine
That is funny. I was just talking to a friend the other day how my child will be so much different than my neice who is the complete girly-girl. I am not going to fill a girls room with princess and prissy things. She laughed and informed me you can’t control it (gasp I like to control everything). She said if you don’t give girls dolls they will make one out of a sock just like a boy without guns will end up making them out of a piece of bread. It just happens. I am so excited about your ultrasound, I hope you have a little girl! I had been meaning to call you this last week to see how the ultrasound went!
I can’t wait to see little Gingers running around. I mean… they will have the cutest BIG eyes ever… right?!
It certainly does seem like they pick things up without any sort of outside prompting. I’m going to have to admit it took every fiber of my being not to fall out my chair laughing when I read the paragraph about his “dominating” habit. Well, I guess you can just chalk that one up to instincts. My two female cats like to remind each other who’s boss, and I really doubt the younger one ever witnessed it (she was a 6-week-old kitten when we adopted her — our little Katrina rescue).
Congrats on your 70% chance of girl! One of each! =)
They got about equal chance of having big eyes as they do of having a small butt. But hey crazier things have happened.
It’s amazing, isn’t it? No matter what we do, to a certain degree, they just are themselves. No matter how much I tell my boys that we don’t say things like “I’m going to kill you” in this house, the words still sneak out of their mouths. At least they’ve stopped saying it to one another and it only comes out in their play.
Congratulations on the ultrasound! I had two boys and then a girl, so I get to see brothers together, and it’s a hoot, even if it does turn my hair a little gray (metaphorically; I don’t know what I will do the day I actually find a gray hair). And then I had a little girl, and I get to see the way they are with their sister and the way that she brings out the best in them in so many ways. A girl will be fantastic–and a boy would be the first of many exciting surprises! : )
Congratulations on the ultrasound! Actually, just congratulations! I’m sorry I’m so late to the party, but that’s great news! =)
I read in a book once, about this family who was really into non-violence. Like they would not let their kids watch it on tv or play with fake weapons, not even water guns. And then the mom gave up when her son bit his grilled cheese sandwich into the shape of a gun and started shooting his brother with it.