I got an email: “why are you talking about this so publicly… you could be ruining your future”… concerning this post. So I am reposting Tell Your Story…. Shame and guilt keep us sick, we must be seen in order to move on. More people are dealing with real issues, they just are talking about it.
Sadie sent me a text yesterday:
“Did you read Dooce’s blog!?”
(Why do we call her Dooce? Her name is Heather! Sheesh!)
I, in straight blog addict fashion, dropped what I was doing and logged on. I began to read her words and they spoke to an achey place I’ve had in my heart. She was announcing her separation from her husband. I’ve been there before. I am still there! Sadie has been there before too, and it hurts in ways a blog post cannot convey.
“Ew! Why?! Why would someone do that… why would someone put their business out there like that,” a friend once commented to me about bloggers who talk about their personal lives.
I think Heather did what she did, maybe, for the same reason that Cecily talks about the babies she lost, I talk about being married and seperated from an addict, and Liz talks about depression and um, nipple hair.
Why?
Telling your story is sometimes the only power you feel like you have.
Telling your story creates a place where you can reflect, mourn, scream, hurt.
Telling your story gets the poison out.
The world is digital and the internet is just another stage to sit down and smoke and drink and perform your beat poetry. I think women who aren’t afraid to stand up and tell the truth about where their lives are at are like gospel missionaries. They pack up and head into these dark jungles of possible judgement and criticism. They unashamedly proclaim a kind of good news: the good news that you aren’t the only one.
You aren’t the only one who laid on your couch all week watching show after show wondering why you get stuck in the “I hate myself mode”
You aren’t the only one who lost a baby.
You aren’t the only one who has been unhappy in her marriage and really needs to find the strength to leave
You aren’t the only one who sometimes feels perplexed with her body.
You aren’t the only one who wonders if she is a good enough mother.
You aren’t the only one who can’t figure how to speak the same language as your kids.
You aren’t the only one who feels so. much. pressure. about. everything
You aren’t the only one.
And in that jungle darkness there are some who have sat down because they believe they’ll never find the way out of that dark tangled mess. But then they hear the voice of someone, they grab a hand, or they watch as someone wrestles the vines off of their body. We give hope one to another when we tell our stories. I think that is what the Gospel message of Jesus Christ is about. It is about a theme of isolation and despair turned into a story of community and hope.
So tell your story.
Tell it no matter what.
You never know who will hear your voice in the jungle.
This is perfect.
I love you Jazz, my beautiful God daughter, I don’t always tell you how smart I think you are or how beautiful you are or what a good mom you are, etc., but you are all of those things and so much more. You know that I have an eating disorder too, love food, restrict, get thin, get fat, love food. I admit that I am 51 and don’t know what I want, pretty pathetic. I am on Premarin now for hot flashes and it has made me depressed even more, doc says give it 30 days. I say, will I still have friends and a job after 30 days of torturing them?? I adopted twins 7 years ago and they hate Kenna and she hates them, I am in the middle, left to referee when possible. All 3 graduate in 40 days or so and I should feel proud and happy…..I live tired, I live busy, I live lonely. Bought a house months ago, have not moved in yet, not motivated. I don’t smoke, I have a margarita once in an “oh so blue moon.” Have I thought about my life in a serious way? No, it takes too much energy. Then I look at you and wonder how DO you manage? You are wiser than your years and I love and miss your face. Vent over.
I love you Barb. I figured something was up with your eating- I watched you for years. So many women struggle with this, this disordered eating and self punishment. I have faith in you. I know you’ll find your way out of the darkness. Just keep screaming.
Jazz,
I have always appreciated how you are willing to put yourself out there for the people that read your life. Keep it up
Beautiful. Am going to share it on twitter.
Thank you Sharon. I appreciate it!
Thanks. Well said.
I LOVED that post. Thanks so much for sharing. that was beautiful and so TRUE.
You are one of my favorite writers. Whenever I come here I go: ahh, someone who just gets it, in a non-judgemental kind of way.
It’s powerful to be able to say “I put myself out there.” And it’s cathartic. If someone can share their story and make someone else feel less alone in this world: YES! That’s what writing is, isn’t it? Trying to make sense out of chaos? Well, that’s what I tell myself anyway. Kudos, girl. You nailed it!
thanks for posting this. i have struggled with talking more on my blog about my anxiety, depression, agoraphobia and panic issues. i started a new blog that will be nothing but that. i hope to help others with this so they may realize that they aren’t alone. now…to get the word out!
Sharing is not for everyone, but for those of us who are able to not only is it helpful for ourselves but it is helpful for others. I talk about my own struggles and a lot of the issues with my son on my blog and they are some of my most popular posts. I get lots of support from others and hang in there from others who have been through the same plus I get a lot of comments and private messages thanking me for sharing for someone who is currently going through the same thing and is happy not to be the only one. {{HUGS}}
Good stuff Robyn! Being seen helps us move away from isolation.
Yes! Thats why I blog too!
Thank you.
You are welcome here Brannan.