I got an email the other day from a blogger I follow. She wanted to let me know she nominated me for a “Liebster Award”, which is some kind of award that says, “LOOK OUT WORLD! The owner of this blog is about to be a big deal!” I schlepped myself over to her site and sure enough my name was there, along with ten other bloggers that she deemed up and coming.
I’m a bit skeptical. I think this is like a pyramid scheme for blog traffic. Unless my award comes in the form of money, chocolate, or dancing girls I typically turn a critical eye. Also, I should have to arm wrestle the other nominees. The person who wins the arm wrestle match gets a year of bragging rights and cupcakes, the losers have to post pictures of their period panties on the internet.
I am just a wee bit competitive.
I also like people… which is why I am going to entertain said blogger. Thanks for the nomination Raquel! I am going to play along with the Liebster Award, but only partly… because I am still a rebel ::rock fist::
I am supposed to answer some questions and then nominate other bloggers. I’ll answer the questions… but I am not going to link bloggers or nominate anyone. I am selfish and believe that the line of nominations should stop at ME.
11 questions for the nominees to answer
1. what’s your favorite holiday tradition?
Kwanzaa….because I hate white people
2. name three things you have on you at all times?
Is this a trick question? My brain, my vagina, and chapstick
3. what’s one word you say a lot?
Vagina. Fuck. No… vagina… noooo… fuck. Okay. BOTH
4. when you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I have yet to look at myself in the mirror. I avoid it at all costs. Oh my god! Is this questionnaire designed to remind me of my own self- loathing? This is the worst award of all times!
5. how did you get into blogging?
I was rockin’ a xanga back when the world knew what a xanga was because I liked to write and I thought people should keep up with my crazy life. I kept blogging for me. It has become my love.
6. what’s your worst bad habit?
binge eating and masturbating to care bears. Just kidding about the second one.
7. would you rather have the power to be invisible or the power to read minds? why?
I feel like I already read minds. Also, being invisible is lame. I don’t want either of those. I want to be Storm from the Xmen. Although there are way more Xwomen then Xmen and the name should be changed to be more inclusive.
8. you’re given a million dollars right now. what do you spend it on?
On other people. I love giving people things and helping others. But after I spent my money on taking care of others I would invest in myself. I’d also buy a boston terrier, a new house, some shit I don’t need from ikea, a farm, and a lock of chaka khan’s hair.
9. what’s the one thing you miss about being a child?
NOTHING. My childhood was horrific. Wait. I miss my school teachers. Those ladies were awesome. So awesome.
10. would you go back in time if it were possible? and if so, would you change something?
People say they’d never change anything. They say that what has happened to them makes them a better person. I think that is total bullshit. I’d change lots of things, BUT I’ve seen enough sci-fi movies to know that if I changed anything I’d tear the time/space continuum and so I am far too intelligent to fuck with the universe like that. As you should be too. The universe don’t need no help, y’all.
11. what’s your favorite personality trait? do think most people would agree?
I think my authenticity is the most powerful thing I have. I am vulnerable and honest with who I am in the world. Also, I don’t care about other people agreeing with me… see! THAT is how authenticity works.