September8
I’ve talked about my job once before. It is, truly, a great job and frequently moves me to getting all smooshy and weepy. I’ve had to learn some new skills while working there, which is good too. For instance, not long after starting there I learned how to give lice treatments and then pick lice and nits. Anyone out there done this before? Yeah…its super fun. When I became a shift supervisor I had to learn to be comfortably responsible for all the medication dispensing and logging that happens on my shift. This part of my job causes me considerable angst. I’ll go ahead and say this may be my least favorite part of my job. Keeping track of and dispensing medicine is stressful business, especially when you are doing it for that many kids. I’ve learned how to check the drug interactions, give breathing treatments, and the best way to put in eye drops. In addition to the medication business, as a supervisor I had to learn how to creatively deal with any kids who are having a hard time on their wings, and even more difficult, I’ve had to learn how to deal with staff.
Recently, I’ve had to prepare and serve meals for the kids and staff as well. And if making ham and cheese sandwiches wasn’t enough to give me a panic attack, then heating sloppy joe mix (in the microwave) and slapping it on some buns certainly was. In fact, the dinner business freaks me out so thoroughly that last weekend, when dinner prep required adding four cups of cheese to alfredo and heating the meal in the ovens…my boss called in our receptionist to do it for me. So I would not lose my sweet little mind. She’s a good boss.
But my most recently learned skill is the ability to tighten braces. See, every shift the supervisors fill out the Supervisor Log, which is basically the run-down of the shift, who did what and any instructions that need to be left for future shifts. Since I only supervise once a week, these logs are priceless. A few weeks ago I was working after having been gone for two weeks. I noticed that the four shift entries leading up to my shift all included this message. DON’T FORGET! HANNAH’S BRACES NEED TO BE TIGHTENED ON SUNDAY!! I read it the first time and took note. I smiled the second time I read it. The third time I started to get suspicious. And the fourth time I read it I realized…the others are on to me. I am forgetful.
Despite having four reminders to tighten Hannah’s braces (and no, that is not really her name) there were no instructions as to how to do it, except “Use the little blue key with a wire at one end”. Got it. So I wrangled the case manager for help, took the blue key and went to ask Hannah how to do it. Surely she would know. It’s her mouth after all. So I asked her and she said “You put the wire in the little hole and you pull down”. How hard? How far? Til when? Will it hurt?
So the case manager and I went to it, both of us confused. We both tried, did exactly what she said, but were not getting anywhere. We pulled down. We pulled forward. We wiggled the wire end of the key and pulled down again. We stopped just short of doing a rain dance and forming a little golden calf out of napkins. Finally, after having spent at least 25 minutes with either my or the case manager’s fingers all in her mouth, I figured it out. You put the wire in the hole, turn the blue stick sideways, and rotate the whole thing backward so that it tightens. Psshhh…Take that crazy little braces! It only took half an hour for two adults and a gaggle of teen girls to outsmart you and your little wire self!
So if I ever find myself needing another job I can put these things on my resume:
Skilled in changing diapers and wiping poop
Excellent nit-picking abilities
Retains something like composure when in charge of dispensing and logging medications, and Band-Aid application
Can tighten braces