I braced myself and she continued, ” You are a bad mommy when you tell your kids NOT to open the package that is coming in the mail today because it is a Christmas present….when it is really just your new sex toy!”

I almost dropped the phone and died with laughter. I can’t top that. Ever.

Can you?

Happy Monday Readers!

But with Halloween having just passed–Halloween, the holiday devoted entirely to eating so much candy you can hardly stand up to answer the door for laggin Trick-or-Treaters–I know that I have some things to confess.

1. It wasn’t me who woke the baby from a nap in order to get her ready early enough to get all the good candy from the neighbors.

2. It wasn’t me who quietly watched as the neighbors put candy in her bowl, pre-emptively assigning which candy I would give to Norah and which I would keep for myself.

3. It wasn’t me who gave out all the Super Bubble and kept the Airheads.

4. It wasn’t me who fed Norah Halloween cookies for breakfast before church and then acted like I had no idea why she was acting like a lunatic during the service.

Anyone else have Halloween confessions?

–Sadie

2. It wasn’t me who put Norah to bed early so I could play Mario Party 8 either.

3. It wasn’t me who let Norah dump and entire box of goldfish crackers into the back of my mom’s car.

4. It was definately not me who looked at Norah and laughed when she got ahold of a handful of salsa, ate it, turned bright red, and then proceeded to freak out and fling everything from our table at Taco Bueno onto the floor.

5. Hahahahaha! It was pretty funny though.

–Sadie

_______________________________________________________________________

It wasn’t me who gave her son a small cup of coffee this morning, Carmel Macchiato to be exact.

It wasn’t me who was too tired to dress or diaper him all last week, so he played naked all day.

It wasn’t me who told him that  Jolly Rancher candy was medicine, and only for mommy.

I will start:

1. It wasn’t me who let my son watch 5 hours of TV…because it makes the best babysitter.

2. It wasn’t me who decided that she was going to stop potty training because, DAMN IT! I hate poop and pee.

3. It wasn’t me who decided that telling her son that his toys had died when he wouldn’t stop playing with the annoying things was A GREAT IDEA!

4. It wasn’t me who taught her son to lay a blanket over said “dead” toys to keep him from playing with them, and when he went to touch them— said, “Ewww! Nasty Dead Thing!”

5. It wasn’t me who wondered if I’d like Addison (in utero) better because this pregnancy has been so NICE.

1. It wasn’t me who fed Norah and Isaiah donuts and Cheese Nips for breakfast on Friday morning.

2. Nor was it me who continued to let the kids eat the Cheese Nips even after they had been dumped onto the carpet.

3. It wasn’t me who decided that drawing on the kids’ faces with chalk was more fun than drawing on the sidewalk.

4. It wasn’t me who inexplicably lost Isaiah’s shorts somewhere in my rather small house.

5. It was definately not me who lost Garret’s car keys, only to have Jasmine find them in her car.

6. And it was most certainly not me who was only halfway kidding about stasing the kids somewhere at the mall so Jasmine and I could get pedicures.

(Ok fine. That last one was me. But I was 100% kidding about stashing them somewhere.)

It was a long week…

I am going to start off Bad Mommy Monday!

It wasn’t me who took an un-napped baby to the  public library.
If anyone asks, it was not my baby that was running through the non-fiction section laughing like a lunatic, hair sticking straight up, only one shoe on. And I am most definitely not the mother of the child who was screaming so loud it echoed off the ceiling tiles.

Nope. Not me. I am much more polite and have a much more calm and mild-mannered child.

(BAHH HAHAHAHAHA!)