When you have a second child, or during your second pregnancy, if you are like me, you think, “Shazaam! Number two will be a breeze, cause I got this shit on lock DOWN!” Ok, maybe YOU don’t say ‘lock down’ but if you did, you’d be as awesome as me! I digress.

If you welcome the second child with the admonition, “welcome, jewel of a baby, for I know all the secrets to motherhood and you don’t frighten me…” you’ll be wrong. I was wrong. I was SO wrong.

Every baby is different (as well as every pregnancy). And pride? It cometh before the FALL. That fall is the one where you burst into tears crying, “what did I eat that is making her scream in pain!!!!!!”

Addison is tongue tied. Not only do I not know how to deal with this medical issue, but I have never ever HEARD of it. Turns out it is more than an expression. Tongue tied babies have a very hard time latching and all that jazz. So now I have to figure out what to do about her tongue. I could get it clipped (OUCHIES!) or suffer through her poor latching, air sucking breastfeeding… In spite of her poor tongue, Addison is doing well. She is gaining weight and nursing like a champ- she just sucks a bunch of air and then farts like a man (a very large man that has eaten too many bean burritos) and occasionally screams because her poor belly is full of air.

So I don’t know if I should  get her frenulum clipped….

Does anyone have any experience with this?

I tell you what.

There is nothing quite like being best friends with someone who is 6 weeks more pregnant than you. The entire experience just seems very unfair.

I mean, we had about 2 weeks there in the beginning when we were both all barfy and heartburny, but then Jasmine was done with it and I still had a solid 4 weeks of urpy misery to make it through. There for a while in the middle we were both all cute and round and eating everything we could get our hands on, without a negative side effect in sight, but soon enough the uneven timetables kicked in again.

Jasmine neared the end of her pregnancy and was understandably uncomfortable, being a thousand months pregnant and maybe in labor maybe not, and all through this I was still relatively able to move about and function like a human. So I guess maybe that was kind of unfair for her.

But then she got to go have give birth to her spectacularly cute little baby and I was there for it, all weepy and hand flappy and sometime around…30 minutes after Addison was born I was like “Oh my lands. I have 6 more freaking weeks of this nonsense!” And instantly, the uncomfortableness of 34 weeks pregnant kicked in.

That’s how my body works. Its totally fine until someone mentions something like “Oh hey! You are 36 weeks along and dialated to a one” and then suddenly I have very painful contractions. That eventually go away, but are painful nonetheless. So now I’m at 38 weeks and have had contractions on and off for the last 2 weeks. Yesterday they were about 15-20 minutes apart for a good 5 hours. And today? Nothing except the usual pubic bone ache that I’ve had for so long I’m thinking of giving it a name.

So…bah. In the meantime I’m going to walk around the block a few times and maybe go snuggle Addison in hopes that her baby powers will induce labor.

Like the title? I hope so….

So. Garrett and I went in this morning to have my membranes stripped.

HA! What a joke!!!  You wanna know what happened? My contractions got closer together with no change in intensity. So now my vagina is just all hurty and my back is all crampy and my front is all contraction-y, with no progress.

So. I check in tomorrow for good ole pitocin. I am a little frightened that I won’t be able to handle pitocin induced contractions, but at this point I am so angsty and bitchy that I might just stand up and grunt this baby out all Zena the Warrior Princess style (ew. gross visual!).

Hey remember all that lofty and mature crap I was spouting in the last post about not controlling life… EFF that! I am ready to see this baby and move on to phase two.

Check back in a couple of days, when I am sure to be all squishy and happy and in love with my little girl and this annoyance only a tiny blip on my maternal radar.

My contractions started up the other day. They were every 20 mins and uneven. I was having intense back labor and thinking that maybe this baby was coming. After being checked by OB and Midwife, they both  agreed that I was dilating. Janessa (my Midwife) suggested I take something to stop my labor so that it would kick start again stronger and more even. (I eventually took the option and stopped my labor, the back labor was awful and I was getting super tired). Before I made the choice to take the drugs I had this conversation with Sadie:

Me: My contractions are still uneven. Every twenty or thirty mins. with intense back cramping. Dr. Crownover said I am dilating, I am at 1- almost two…

Sadie: OMG! I am SOOOO excited! How are you doing?

Me: My back is hurty! Janessa asked me if I wanted to take something to stop labor.

Sadie! WHAT!? Why would she ask you that!

Me: SO that my labor will stop and then start back on its own evenly.

Sadie: Well, I guess that makes sense, but what did you say?

Me: I told her yes.

Sadie: What!?

Me: Just kidding… I said I would wait it out to see if it is real labor for awhile.

Sadie: Oh God good! I thought I was going to have to come over there and punch you in your cervix!

I was reminded by a friend that (even though I call it hippy and joke) the reality is that home birthing and the midwifery model are actually not “Hippy” at all. They are part of  the humanistic/holistic model of care. As opposed to the medical model they choose not to treat pregnant women, but rather assist women through a natural process and little intervention.

After I quizzed my OB and my primary care physician for several visits (do you know how expensive it is to just TALK to your doctor!) I was given the green light and decided to pick my midwife. We (Garrett and I) discussed what traits were important to us and I took to the task of calling a few in the area. I knew that I would instantly tell if I wanted to work with someone over the phone, and true enough having phone conversations narrowed my choices down to two. I ended up not even meeting with the second midwife choice. I immediately knew I was in love with Janessa Craig. Add  the fact that my OB worked with her on the Labor and Delivery Unit at Siloam and I was golden. Janessa is a smooth personality who will sit and look at me very patiently as I ramble on about research and data. She looks at me graciously and inhales for me and reminds me I won’t have this time back ever again and tells  me to savor it.

Janessa and her apprentice came to have a home visit on Monday.  I cooked lunch and they explored my house, discussed scenarios, and determined what I wanted for the experience. They didn’t leave for three hours.  After doing my vitals they just sat on my bed and giggled and talked like we were old friends. At this point I entered into my lecture about why Janessa needed to let me take Castor oil… “I NEED this baby, ” I complained, “I am over it! I am done being pregnant… I want her NOW!” Janessa shook her head and gave me the same ole speech, “Jasmine the best thing you can do is let her cook and when that time comes  that God appointed she will be here.” THAT is exactly why I don’t let God be in charge of anything!!!! That dude has got His priorities all jacked up! Doesn’t HE know that my body has expired of this process!? Who likes to pee forty ba-gillion times in one damn night!! Janessa’s words, however, reminded me that I could hold on for another week and maybe even two more after that. And just to make sure my misery was cataloged in my mind appropriately, I looked up at Janessa and commented, “Don’t some women stay pregnant well past forty weeks?” She nodded. “UGH!” I exclaimed, “That is it! I am going to be pregnant forever!” To which she responded, “Well! You could make us some money then!”

So we are still waiting. In Jasmineland more waiting means more projects.

 Even though I DO own Castor Oil… I am harnessing everything I have in my overly impatient body and holding on to allow Addison to decided to arrive when she wants. *Better make is soon kid! Asking Momma to have this much patience is sort of an act of God!*

Before Isaiah was born, Garrett and I stocked up on G diapers  and dug our heels in, “we WILL use cloth or biodegradable diapers.” We determined, after much thought and research, that it was the best for our family and for our community. Isaiah arrived (as well as postpartum depression/psychosis, colic, and infant acid reflux), and our wills for a better planet quickly headed out the door. It became about convenience and quick care. Cloth diapers required washing. I wasn’t washing my own hair at the time, let alone laundry! Whatever I had to do to make him stop screaming and for me not to kill him was IN. Which meant that the involved process of ‘natural’ diapering was OUT. Add to this scenario that I hate pee and poo (if you are one those people  weirdos who likes that sort of thing… I  think there are websites for that and expensive therapists too!)

A couple of Ambien/Anti-Anxiety meds later and we are all better.

Now that Addison will be here in less than 11 weeks, we have started to revisit the idea of how we will diaper her. After keeping a little boy alive for 2.5 years I decided that pee and poop are not my forte. When I encounter these things I usually follow up with a deep retching noise and have to wave my hands frantically in the air and think about something else. This has been exasperated by pregnancy (duh), but I don’t know if it will go away. I still have that stupid voice in my head, nagging, “your kids have skin allergies- cloth is better… think about the environment, your checkbook….” 

**Listen nagging voice! If we had to put a price on my comfort, it would faaaaaaaaar outweigh the pocketbook (and then environment, if we are being honest here).

But alas. I still find myself thinking back to why I don’t use certain detergents, body washes, shampoos, etc. That same reason is the original reason why we weren’t interested in conventional diapers. So. I have a couple of weeks (before I really have to start buying diapers) before I make my decision. Has anyone else out there had experience with cloth diapers? I am bringing all opinions into my knowledge arsenal. Wish me luck!

Over at home… I am pretty much just complaining about life. We all have those days, don’t we?