(This morning): Jasmine drags into work…late…and looking very, very tired. Super cute Supervisor greets Jasmine in the hall with a concerned look, “You okay?” she inquires with her fabulous S. Arkansas accent.

Holy Mother Of Pearl!!!

I went to bed early. I fell asleep promptly. I was sleeping comfortably when I suddenly started to toss and turn. This happend when I heard a bloody banshee style shriek pierce it’s way through my son’s bedroom door. Garrett jumps out of bed, ju jitsu style, trying to get to the howling demon before his ear piercing song wrestles me from my slumber (Daddy knows Mommy will die without sleep…  which explains why Daddy woke up with Baby EVERY night for two years… good, good Husband and Daddy). Too late! I was awakened by the shrieks, though I was content to lay in bed and play possum until my lovely husband runs out of ideas. I am not a bad wife or mother, I am just not human at TWO O’CLOCK in the morning. I wanted to spare them my wrath. He did, finally, run out of ideas. Isaiah is in our bed, by this time, kicking and screaming and howling like some kind of monster.  We try a sippee with milk. We try a graham cracker, we try redirecting, holding him standing up, calming him, encouraging him, holding him sitting down, and I (momentarily) consider a syringe of Ativan…..

I attempt to give Isaiah a graham cracker, concerned that his recently acquired selective palate might be the reason he is trying to destroy our eardrums.  This was about the time He drop kicked me in the face and let out particularly atrocious scream. Garrett giggled as he watched all my compassion melt away. “To HELL with it!!!” I scooped up demon child, marched him to his bedroom (still flailing and screeching), and plopped him in his bed.  “Hmph….good night. Scream and kick in your room, in your own bed….” Not even five minutes after I plopped him in his bed, the screaming subsides and all is well in the world.

WHAT?! I marched to the front room for my laptop. I mean, because what else do you do at two in the morning when your kid kicks your in the face screaming for no obvious reason. Go back to sleep? No! I am too hardcore for that!  You consult Dr. Google… that is what you do.

Answer found: Night Terrors. Developmental in nature.

Intervention: None. Insure child doesn’t injury themselves during tantrum (night terror). DO NOT try to comfort or soothe child, as terror can be worsened by physical interaction.

(Back to this Morning): “Well super cute Supervisor” (Jasmine thinks)… “I have a devil baby who apparently becomes possessed promptly after one o’clock in the morning. He shrieks and his head spins in circles and he climbs the walls all while chanting in Latin…”  “Oh!” I reply, “I didn’t get much sleep last night, Isaiah, apparently has been having night terrors.” She nods her head knowingly, “any changes or transitions can cause those, I think they are developmental..” I chortle… her knowing nod indicated that maybe she, too, had experienced this phenomenon…those damn demon babies.

I don’t really know how to end this post but to say; “Go ahead… envy my amazing life” or ” Don’t be jealous your kid isn’t as hardcore as mine or ” Cute two year old boy with Mohawk hair cut for sale…. screams randomly at night, sold as is.”